Keeping your word

There is nothing I cannot stand more than people who do not keep their word. To me it appears to be a serious weakness in character and a disease that needs curing, if anything. My reasoning is it’s better to not say you will do something then do it than to say you will do it then not do it at all and for that reason I have vowed that I will look to the ends of the earth for a man or/and friend that can keep his word rather than settle for one that cannot. This notion has made me lose friends over weeks, days and sometimes even hours for often I cannot bear the betrayal I feel when someone does not keep their word to me. The one thing I have noticed is people trivialize this issue and when I do get upset about it they seem not to understand the severity of the matter to me.  I cannot speak for everyone but I think if you cannot deliver on small things how on earth will you deliver on big things? One of my favorite people in the world is my dad who I know I can always count on to keep his word, do things when he says he will, no matter how small, and give you all the feedback you will need if he is doing it for you and I will tell you now that there is no comforting feeling as that of knowing that somewhere in this world there is one human being you can rely on to keep their word.

Thinking about how passionately I feel about this topic I realized what a hypocrite I have been as I have been right at the top of the list as far as disappointing myself and not keeping my word is concerned. I have made huge creative plans, thought of interesting places to visit, books to write, films to make, amazing port folios, impressive business proposals and unforgettable motivational talks all in my head and not once delivered. I promised myself to accomplish things by a certain time only to realize five, ten years later those things are still unaccomplished and sometimes not even under commencement. If that is not weakness of character then I do not know what is. I remember one speaker at a youth camp ten years ago saying that the richest place on earth is the grave yard, for many die with plans and ideas unexplored and I remember thinking to myself that should an audit be taken on my grave it should be found to be the poorest for I should have exhausted all the potential within me. A decade later I am ashamed to say if I would die now, mine would still be a rich grave as I have not done much to see the things I vowed to myself come true.

My hope is that you never fall into the same predicament as me and at least learn to do things when and whilst you still can for tomorrow is not ours to own and neither yesterday but today is and there is much we can do with it if we let ourselves. Seize the day and release your potential, do all those things you promised yourself you would do. Keep your word to yourself before you can expect it of other people.

“Hon­esty is mak­ing your words con­form to real­ity. Integrity is mak­ing real­ity con­form to your words.” - Stephen Covey

Never give up? Really?

I have always wondered how people are able to know when the limit has been reached to stop pursuing something.  How much is too much to say? How much is too much to bear? Each time people give encouraging words, more likely than not the popular statement “Never give up” is bound to come up.  I wonder however, if something keeps failing, is it not a cue at times to move on to other things? Is that not in itself a sign? As one wise man once said, "If at first you don't succeed try,try again then quit. There is no need to be a damn fool about it."

Before you start casting stones at me for what might seem a pessimistic message consider, the faithful wife who has endured abuse, physical, emotional or otherwise for the past twenty years but keeps hoping that one day her marriage will work out. Had she taken the first slap seriously would she not have saved herself a lot of turmoil over the years? Consider the thirty five year old wanna-be model who has been casting for modelling jobs ever since she was nineteen and now she has hit her mid-thirties with no career to speak of? Would she not have had a better chance of making something of herself if she had taken the first 5 to 10 rejections seriously? Consider the receptionist on a company who has been loyal for the past fifteen years hoping that one day they would be promoted to a better position, receive a better pay and the young man who has pursued the same young woman for the past three years in a bid to court her to no avail.

Don’t get me wrong, i am all for pressing on towards the goal and taking the sound advice of the Thomas Edsons of this world but i also think there is lots of power in knowing when to draw the line. Immense possibilities can be opened when you realise it is time to let go, strategize and come up with plan B, C,D and so on. Giving up is not always a sign of weakness. In fact sometimes it’s a sign of strength. I have seen people that have used this strength of knowing when to move on and when to keep trying and I admire them. For sometimes never giving up is like trying to barge into a closed, albeit sometimes locked door.  My opinion?  Either find the key or find another door!  The coin can however be flipped and that’s why it’s also important to strike a balance and not be caught guilty of giving up too soon for another  wise man also said “The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.”