The day I had to run with my life I did not know how to run and in which direction to run in. To be fair I had never had to do this before and as such had no experience to bring to the table. Guaranteed, I had read all the self-help books on how to react in situations like these and given the opportunity I could tell it to anyone in my sleep yet at this particular moment all those “how-to rules” I had embedded in my mind had been shredded into a million little pieces and all seemed to be falderal now that I actually needed to use them.
Don’t get me wrong, under normal conditions I am as agile as a monkey and often times I had seen people in the same situation I was in and wondered how dumb they must have been to not flee with their lives. The worst part is i did not know that running was in fact the only choice I had to deal with or I would forever regret standing there in my numbness. That said, I did what any normal human being in my shoes would not have done, I stood on the spot, frozen, unmoving as though I had roots going deep down into the ground. No doubt, my brain did its part and sent all the necessary messages, flashlights, siren even and the constant prompt to run as fast as I could, yet my body failed me and I stood there like a house by the side of the road. I kept telling myself no, I did not have to run. To run would be drastic surely? Perhaps I can slowly retreat and maintain my dignity in the process but who would actually care if I ran like a person set alight considering everyone else was busy with their lives? Hang on! Whose dignity and who actually defined it? I tried to comfort myself and kept telling myself my situation would probably change itself without me doing a single thing. I have heard of scenarios of people being saved by a bolt of lightning (never mind that it wasn’t raining) or a guardian angel. I blinked sweat in my eyes like a person who had just completed a marathon race. As the torture of my indecision and fear threatened to crush me, I had no idea that the cost of standing there as I did would be paid for many years to come at an unjustifiable exorbitant cost.
Looking back, I guess it was fear of the unknown, if I ran away then what? What awaited me out there? Wouldn’t I end up worse than I already was? After all, it wasn’t as bad as everyone said it was? Surely there was another way? Yet I look back now and realise no! The truth of the matter is no! There really wasn’t any other way. For how would I ever discover the joy and freedom that awaited me?
